American Apparel goes 80s… again.

An original Hypercolor tee.

AA's much more sophisticated-sounding Thermochromatic tee.

Oh American Apparel, how darlingly retro of you. The retailer of omgosh tight cotton/spandex-blend contraptions has released “thermochromatic” T-shirts, which change color according to body temperature. Touch the solid blueness with your hand, and oo! A white handprint appears!

Sorry, AA, but this has been done before. It was a brand called Hypercolor, and it was in the late 1980s. With those, though, you had to go a little more hardcore to get your color change — think holding your hairdryer to it for two to five minutes, or scalding it with your iron for a few. But those minutes were so worth it — when you were five. Anyone above that age probably doesn’t want a murky white mark to appear when the pits get a little sweaty. Milky pit stains, mmm.

Am I the only one not head-over-heels for American Apparel? I find their clothes a little too pricey and not too special. I find their beloved Summer Tees comparable to Hanes, with a four-times heavier price tag. And wearing anything but my navy blue bandeau dress (which, I admit, I love — it’s surprisingly chic), I find myself feeling a bit too much like the lost member of Fanny Pak.

Oh, almost forgot! Mosquito update: I was bitten again on my patio last night. I have to sit out there, because it’s the only place I can successfully steal my neighbors’ internet. I call it my Internet Cafe. (Maybe I deserve it for being such a shameless thief.)